Mother's day....ouch

The day is almost over & I couldn't be more grateful.  Someone said that the lead up to such days is often worse then the day itself, however, not today.

What a heart wrenching day, never did I want to crawl into bed more & hide from the world.  My earth angel starting my day with a card & art work, his smile, his enthusiasm, his joy, yet my heart felt heavy.   I missed my angel in the sky deeply today - he would have still been in utero - should still be - but no woulda, coulda, shoulda is going to change this dark reality.

Close to tears all day, as fragile as I've been & today nothing brought me comfort as the mother of two, who only has one left on this physical plain.  I light his candle today so he could be with us in spirit, the truth is, it wasn't enough today, today I wanted him here in body & soul.

James I miss you so tremendously and am heartbroken without you.  I hope you are in the care of all those who have passed before us & are showered with love and protected, that you can feel our love.   

Lost without you tonight angel- love Mommy