Sunday, 13 July 2014

Delirious life

Contradictions have plagued my mind recently. 

 As we prepare to close one chapter, I have become nostalgic for something indescribable.  The memories of a child who's life flashed, who's life ripped the curtain of life clean off its rings. As we prepare to call a new place home, I am struggling to leave the all the memories, good , bad & ugly behind.  

You have reclaimed your place on our mantle & you will find a new space in our new home.  I had no idea that the treasues of you would feel so connected to this physical space.  

I am sobered to the reality that the worst & most profoundly painful times were spent here but intoxicated by the memories none the less.  Your brother was born here, the one who would never have been without you.  The one who's life I am constantly filled with guilty gratitude for.   

A storm & rainbow together under one roof.  Corners filled with the bitter sweet smells & sounds of a delirious life. The one I never wanted, the one I never want to change, the one I can't live without.

Missing you vividly my son. Missing you profoundly in every square inch.