Saturday, 31 December 2011

Goodbye 2011

Good bye & good riddance 2011.   Those are my sentiments about leaving the worst year of my life behind & starting what we hope will be a new year with new hopes.  Although this captures my feelings entirely, I am riddled with guilt for it.  After all despite it being the worst year of my life, literally, we were blessed with the our son coming into our lives briefly but with significance.  If it weren't for that significance it couldn't have been the worst year. 

So, I guess I have to re-state things, good riddance 2011, the worst year of my life, for having met & having to say goodbye to my son James.  The cruelty of this blessing will not end b/c the year turns over but in some way it'll feel good to have it over non the less.

I guess this is the life sentence of a bereaved parent, the pain & promise woven together in everything, every breath, every opportunity, every hope. 

No resolutions this year, no point, still at the everything is beyond our control so why bother stage.

Hoping you will join us tonight as we prepare to let out this year James.  You are always close to my heart & top of my mind dear angel boy.  Wishes for a different kind of new years eve swirling in my heart today.

Sending love xoxoxoxo Mommy

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