Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Breathing again

I can breath again - at least for now.  Mike ended up coming with me & I'm so grateful to have had him there.  The first thing we saw was the baby's heart beating - the torso was the first thing to pop on the screen & both Mike & I zoomed in on that little beating heart.  I welled up with tears.

We had the most wonderful technician - it was as if she was sent to us from heaven - maybe James had something to do with it.  She not only did the usual but went well beyond - she had asked us before our history so must have known how important all the little details were.  I told her how grateful I was for her - I'm not sure she really knew how much I meant it.  She even marked the nuchal pocket & told us it was normal - a complete angel.  Measured the heartbeat & even let us hear it, my heart was overwhelmed with joy, relief & love, I feel really lucky to have shared with moment with Mike, the only other person who was with me when we couldn't find James' heartbeat - it just meant so much.

So, I know this is still early but I need to savour this day, what feels like a victory.  I know tomorrow things could change, but I get to go back on Friday and see it all over again -I can't wait! 

James - I know you were there & smiled over us as our hearts lept with joy at the good news.  What a relief to know you are always with us.  We started talking about your angel day - it's coming fast & we hope to make it a celebration. 

I'm totally exhausted now - hoping I'll sleep well tonight, maybe you'll visit me and we can celebrate today together there.  xoxoxox Love you Mommy


  1. Thank GOD!! I have been thinking about you all sooooo much. Thank you for the post. Wonderful, wonderful news.

    Hope to hear from you soon.

  2. SOOO, sooo happy to hear it!! And it's wonderful that you get to go again on Friday!!