Thursday, 25 October 2012

Here I come

Talk about getting what you ask for...

In my last post I talked about giving back & the opportunity to "pay it forward" if you will.  Well no sooner did I have the post out then another baby loss mom I came to know through the support group reached out to me.  She shared the most wonderful news, she is anxiously expecting again & hoping to get some validation, strategies and reassurance that she isn't losing her mind from another rainbow mom.  Not to mention hear anything other then the cliche congratulations and everything is going to be ok that those who we pray never have to walk in our shoes always say, but that we know better.

Not only did I send her some suggestions, we even got together.  It was SO wonderful to see her, share in her guarded excitement  I SO remember that feeling, hear her fears, relate to everything she said, feel normal again.  I think I helped put a few things back in perspective & reassure her that while it is very different, far from enjoyable or carefree this time around, everything is totally normal.  I listened to her, felt myself being transported back, shared my experiences & talked openly about James without feeling like I had to explain who, how & most importantly why.  Her total acceptance, acknowledgement and joy for his life & his continued presence in mine, stirred something in me.  It's been too long since I've felt normal.  I need to get back to feeling normal, not just pretending to be.

Since then, I have been an emotional wreck, teary eyed, foggy headed, memory flash backs, enjoying tighter cuddles with the boys.

So, in my previous post I asked myself, ready or not?  My answer is: watch out b/c here I come.

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