Friday, 6 April 2012

Perinatal & child loss discrimination

Seems more recently that there has been public attention to the issue of perinatal & child loss.  Some media related stories have brought it to the forefront, even if it is only short lived. 

After our loss, I quickly became involved with our local chapter of Perinatal bereavement services & in their monthly update this month a link to an article looking at perinatal & infant loss was provided.  MacLeans printed an article on the topic & it summarizes the common prejudice & discrimination that we in our baby loss community feel everyday.  It categorically highlights the "new normal" we are forced to live with.

I am saddened by this article, commend all the comments but wonder how when we are forced to live in a world with such blatant intolerance people can ask how and why we retreat to find kindness within our own international community.  I once lived in the land of the ignorant but hope I would never have passed such volatile and careless judgement. 

The perinatal bereavement agency that provided this link also wrote a letter to the magazine in response.  For that I am grateful even though I doubt it will ever be published and more then likely eyes rolled when reading it.  Our messages must be heard, stories allowed to be told, children lives acknowledged & community allowed to convene without judgement or imposed limits.

I am attaching the link to the story here.  Read it & decide for yourself if it's worth commenting back. The-mourning-after

If anyone wants to read the response sent by Perniatal bereavement services to Macleans, I am  happy to post it. 

James - we will never "get over" you.  You will live in our hearts, memories & family with dignity.  For you & all the other babies gone too soon - I will stand up & say you matter, always will & I will always tell your story (ies).

xoxo mommy


  1. Thank you for sharing the link. Ignorant and infuriating!

  2. Wow. This is a crazy article. Of course these babies are life. My jaw dropped several times as I read this. I couldn't believe Emily whatever would say that there was no 'birth' that had occurred. I bet all her children are living to offer such an ignorant answer.I would love to read the response if you would post it.
    Thanks for sharing the article.

    1. I had the same reaction & was even more shocked at some of the subsequent comments below by readers.

      Somehow the agency's response was deleted from my inbox - I am working on getting it resent - when I get I will put it up!

  3. Awful. And yes, clearly by someone who has never experienced loss - but above and beyond that, I would probably guess that she's never carried ANY chidren, regardless of whether or not they were delivered alive. How could someone feel that way after going through any pregnancy, even one that ended happily? You're invested right from the moment you know. I would really like to see the response that was written, if you could post or e-mail it.

    1. You are one of the great ones D! You're compassion never ceases to amaze me. I am truely grateful for you.

      I will put the response up ASAP!