Precious moments, something that I have often thought I would never be able to celebrate for James. One of those luxuries that while you would never wish it on anyone else, leaves you with nothing but envy & maybe some resentment for those who have it.
I had a precious moment yesterday, against all odds. During our morning routine trying to get Jev (2.5 yrs) out the door for daycare, at the put on your jacket stage, he reached up cupped my locket in his hand, looked up at me and said "James". My heart swelled, as he repeated it again & I reassured him, "yes that's right that's your brother James". We have been working to prepare Jev for what we hope will be his next little brother, teaching him his name, the idea of a baby brother, being a big brother & i have been somewhat tormented at the need to focus on what will be our youngest & nothing tangible to bring Jev back to James.
Apparently I underestimated the tenderness, insightfulness & memory of my eldest. He reminded me that mine is not the only mind & memory that James lives in & for that I am grateful. It is true what they say about children teaching us about life.
My 3 boys, one living, one angel, one soon to be born (hopefully alive & healthy). I am a blessed woman.