Friday, 8 August 2014

Judgement, closure, 2 things you learn very quickly when you join our club are offered spontaneously and with a predictability it makes us want to hide.  I have learned those things apply to things beyond grief, of course, but they are equally damaging.

That insensitive sniff that says you aren't done yet?!  That suggestion to do something to move towards and ending.  Judgement - false set of reality when things appear clear with obvious outcomes, closure - state of Devine peace after surviving an emotional situation allowing person to move forward. Both concepts are deeply flawed, I reject the latter as even being real, even a healthy part of emotional healing.  

At the core of both are expectations, different for each person, but ones that are unfair, unwarranted & un welcomed.  The world, order, moores, - sociology teaches us to question, not be complacent, ask hard questions, wonder if there is a different truth.  Tough order for many who's lives thrive on basic expectations, those damaged in some way who need the reassurance, consistency that society offers. 

Standing tall amidst the greater masses despite seeing a different reality, sometimes even alone is a daunting task most days.  Today was especially hard.  To be judged by your family, parents, expectations of closure, threats of distance, especially hard.  In the midst of it all, I have clarity, I am entitled to my feelings, process & no set of expectations are going to interrupt them.  Understand me or don't, be disappointed, i won't change, I don't need to.  You do.

No comments:

Post a Comment