Sunday, 28 April 2013

Life in questions

Loss causes you to reflect.  Loss makes you re-evaluate, loss makes you shift priorities, embrace things, reject others.  Loss makes you question, question everything.

I am questioning everything.  As I reflect, I cast my mind back to times, choices, opportunities, career, decisions as far back as my mind will let me go.  I see clearly with hindsight the choices I made with best of intentions that were flawed.   I cast my mind to those who watched me err in my ways and wonder how?

I envy those around me that I see with things I believe were once within my reach, back in time & I wonder how life would be different.

Things that I would never change rush to the forefront.  The things I am grateful for flash in mind, but a sense of regret, resentment for things lost remains.

Questions about the future, conviction to change what I can, learn from past mistakes & hope that I can rise from the proverbial ashes of my life, my son's short life, my life without my touchstone & guardian; Meme.

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