First let me start by sending out a heartfelt thank you to everyone for your support. Your comments & messages filled my heart with the same awe and gratitude as last year when I realized how many truly generous people are out there. You all helped me get through one of my toughest days & for that I am eternally grateful.
For some time now, when I am asked if I'm having my first child by curious acquaintances/colleagues, I have decided to reply by saying that I am expecting my 3rd. Until yesterday, no one has gone any further but I knew that at some point the inevitable question of how old my other children are, would be asked. Yesterday the question came, in a room with a few colleagues & I knew as soon as it was asked the mood in the room would change from excitement about our youngest to shock & regret on the part of the audience. I answered with the truth that my oldest was 2yrs and that my second child had passed away. The gasps of unsuspecting audience members & then offers of apologies and condolences given. I thanked them & reassured them it was ok.
I was on one hand nervous but then filled with happiness to speak about James in real time, as an active member of our family - even if it was to the horror of others. My heart was filled with joy and light the rest of the day - I love being able to talk about him, I get so few opportunities to do so these days.
Feeling you closer these recent days & grateful for your presence angel.
Love Mommy xoxox