Empty arms

Head pounding from the grief, eyes blurred from all the tears, body heavy from the exhaustion of feeling & arms empty. 

Beautiful day outside, sunshine, warm & the slightest breeze.  Walked for a bit & felt wrapped in the quiet perfection of the summer weather - I hope that was you James. 

Unmotivated to move, but not wanting to waste this perfect day that my angel has sent me.  Thinking of finding forget me not seeds to plant not sure I have the stamina to from place to place. 

Blessed with support from incredible people who remember & honour your life & support my life without you.

Missing hearing your coos, looking at your face, smelling your hair.  Missing you snuggling in, hearing your cries, feeding you, missing introducing you to your big brother, watching you with your Papa. 

Holding you deep in my heart & grateful for your perfection, no matter how brief.  Hoping you are safe above watching over your brother the way only an angel can.  Missing you with every fibre of my humanity & looking forward to the day we can be together again.