My worst day

How can one day feel so completely opposite?  This day for our family always will.  4 years ago today was the best day of my life, I married my partner & the one person who helps make me a better person.  A day full of true happiness & hope for the future.

1 year ago today, 3 years later, we prepared for the worst day of our lives, we prepared to go to hospital to birth our already dead child, who we'd learn was a son.  How can life be so cruel?  That day was a foggy one, 2 sleepless nights & a million tears already shed.  Shock & grief so tightly woven together that my brain simply went on overload & seemed not able to process the simplest of things.

All the wonders of a life you dream about coming true 3 years previous & 3 years later horrors no person should ever face all in one day.

So many ugly memories from one year ago.  My worst day would spill into tomorrow when James was actually born.

One year later, I start by feeling numb, simply acknowledging how strange and ironic this life has been.