Letter to Macleans in response to article

For those of you who read my previous post with the link to the story published in Macleans magazine, here is the respone by Perinatal bereavement services. 

If you haven`t read the original article and are interested I`m attaching the link here again:  Macleans.ca - the-mourning-after

This is the letter that was sent to Macleans in response:

As an organization that supports bereaved parents, we were dismayed by the sentiments included in Ms. Kingston’s article “The Mourning After”. A number of points regarding the concept of “oversharing” when it comes to pregnancy and infant loss were perplexing to us.

The overall lack of understanding and intrinsic fear pertaining to pregnancy and infant loss is obvious.  We are, however, optimistic that these barriers can be broken, and we appreciate Maclean’s for opening the door for dynamic discussion on this once-taboo topic.

We represent the Board of Perinatal Bereavement Services Ontario (PBSO) which was originally founded and incorporated as a Non-Profit Organization in 1992 by four bereaved parents. PBSO has since supported thousands of families who have suffered losses such as those mentioned in the article. We provide a variety of unique support services tailored specifically to meet the needs of perinatally bereaved families. We also develop and implement educational training seminars for health care professionals, caregivers, clergy and funeral directors on how to best support these families.

What Ms. Kingston labels as “oversharing”, we at PBSO encourage as healthy grieving. We do not identify taking pictures or sharing our stories as public parades of grief, but as a sincere acknowledgement of loss. Only when one’s loss is recognized, can one effectively grieve. Our society is not comfortable with death, particularly when involving miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. Depth of grief is not related to length of gestation but rather to the attachment families have. What is most disappointing is the strong reaction to discourage bereaved families from grieving in a healthy way.

As advocates for bereaved families in Ontario, we are working towards a healthier, more supportive society by having October 15th recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day in Ontario. No one should grieve the loss of their baby alone or in silence.

The Board of Directors of Perinatal Bereavement Services Ontario